Personal Growth

The Quiddity of True Friendship

Ok, close your eyes and think about a friend with whom life seems exciting and an adventurous journey. A friend with whom you feel energetic even in adverse situations, who is there beside you to support you, to criticize you for your mistakes.

Oh! you have more than one such friends. Congratulations!

So, what if one has no such friends. Mind it, a friend doesn’t mean, they have to be outside our family. Your parents can be your such friend, your spouse can be such a friend. 

According to a recent research, not having a trustworthy friend have the same impacts on your life as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 15 cigarettes, it’s scary right. 

Have you noticed, when we were a child, making friends was so easy.                    We went to the playground, we made friends. We went to school, we made so many friends. But as we grow older, the number of friends lessen with time.

 Maybe we become more selective with time while choosing friends.         Even then, ask yourself honestly how many trustworthy friends you have. How many friends do you have who really knows you, on whom you can trust blindly even at the time of crisis. 

You are truly lucky if you have such a friend but most often people don’t have one such friend. Although we are surrounded by people day and night and even consider many of them as our friend, we crave for one such true friend. 

Why finding a true friend seems difficult?

In our childhood, if I played football and A also played football then we were friends. But as adults, we are much pickier. Friendship now doesn’t only mean we have something common between us but it is a serious investment. We realize that people are not actually what they pretend to show us. Everyone becomes self-centered and compassion goes out of the window. People will easily betray you, people will spread rumors, people will do anything if they see you as an obstacle that needs to be removed. 

However, the problem is not always with other people. Quite often we miss our true friends due to our own ignorance. Our limited beliefs prevent us from talking to new people we meet every time. We have been taught that strangers are dangerous, to not talk with someone you have never seen.

But I am telling about myself. The most beautiful friends I have made in life is through talking to someone stranger. I had to talk or respond to them. It didn’t just happen because we work in the same place or we are from the same school/college.

And remember all we need is few or at least one such friend, so every time you decide not to talk with a person you don’t know well, you reduce your chances of getting a true friend. 

The situation is even worse in this social-media generation where you have thousands of virtual friends on facebook, twitter, Instagram but hardly someone who listens to you, who gives you a feeling of real human connection. With the rise of instant gratification among people, we are becoming impatient day by day. Everything nowadays we want in just a click. But a true friendship takes time to build. 

The expectation is another major issue in a friendship. Everyone wants a friend full of joy. However, often we ourselves are not in joy.                                              There is an old saying which says-

 ” You attract the kind of friends that you are yourself “

 Nobody wants to spend time with a miserable person. If you want joyful people to be your friend then become such a person first.  

The aim should never be to increase just the number of friends but to find some truly great friends. As A. P. J Abdul Kalam rightly said- 

” One best book is equal to 100 friends                                                                                           but one good friend is equal to a library “    

Numerous studies today suggest that having a good friend means better health conditions both physically and mentally, a good friend increases your longevity. Not only that, having a true friend means you are increasing your chances of achieving your goals, your dreams. If your friend lives a healthy lifestyle, you more likely have such a life. If your friend loves to read books, you more likely to check out some books. 

 The Bottom line is- choose your friends wisely and surround yourself with people who inspire you. I urge you to watch this TED talk

Life is much more beautiful when you a have friends with whom you can be your true yourself, with whom you feel like home.                                          And if you haven’t found one yet, don’t give up. Keep your eyes open and talk more often with strangers (who seems genuine).

You never know. Life surprises us most when we go out of our comfort zone and try something new.

Oscar Wilde Quote
Quote by Oscar Wilde

Have a joyful week. Until next time                                                                                                                                         – Joy


  1. Why Friendship Matters
  2. Not having a good friend is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes
  3. Why Social Network is very important
Personal Growth

What will you be remembered for?

Ronit was in hurry, it’s already 6 P.M and he had to reach his friend Nikhil’s house by 7 P.M. After all, it’s Nikhil’s birthday, how could he be late but considering the traffic situation in the town it looked very difficult to Ronit to reach at the time.

Anyhow Ronit managed to reach there at 7.30 P.M, 

Hey Ronit you are late even today‘ said Nikhil. ‘Sorry bro but you know the traffic here. Anyway happy birthday‘ replied Ronit. ‘Thanks Ronit‘- Nikhil.

Ronit didn’t expect so many people at the birthday party, but considering the kind of person Nikhil was, always energetic and extrovert, it was obvious he must have a lot of friends.

‘I am feeling bored man, Nikhil doesn’t have time today and I know nobody here‘ murmured Ronit. Ronit was a very introvert type person, have only a handful of friends, always busy in his work. He never actually talk with strangers.

Suddenly Nikhil came from another side towards Ronit and said- ‘hey, I know you don’t like to talk with unknown people but here all are my friends, they can be your friend’s too, so go and talk’ but knowing Ronit, Nikhil knew it’s not very easy for him.

Ronit was thinking what to do with a soft drink bottle in his hand. Suddenly a waiter with some soft drink glasses in a tray came towards Ronit from behind but as soon as Ronit turned, a small accident occurred. The glass broke and the waiter got a big cut in his right hand.

Hey are you ok, let’s go to a hospital, I will pay for you’ said Ronit.     ‘I am ok sir, I will go myself‘- the waiter replied.

Varun was watching all this from a distance. He came near to Ronit and said- ‘Hi, I am Varun, Nikhil’s childhood friend

Hi, I am Ronit‘ replied Ronit. ‘I am sure you have a lot of money‘- Varun. ‘And why do you think so?‘-Ronit.

Of course, the way you said the waiter I will pay for you (with pride)’ –Varun.

But that was my duty, he got a cut because of me‘-replied Ronit      

If I can remember, you didn’t say him sorry‘-Varun,                                               ‘But why should I, I didn’t do it intentionally‘-Ronit replied.    

That’s right but sometimes a sorry can do wonder beyond our expectation. Anyway don’t mind it, so tell me about yourself, if you are comfortable’-Varun

Ronit generally avoids this kind of conversations with a random stranger but in this circumstance, feeling bored and no one familiar to talk, he tried to talk with Varun.

I am 27 years old, work as a financial broker’Ronit    

So that’s how you make a lot of money, but your introduction cannot be that short or you don’t want to share‘-Varun        

No, I don’t have so many things to share, mostly busy in my work, don’t have much time to do anything. and what you do?‘ –Ronit

Workaholic, that’s great by the way. I am 28 years old but still behave like a kid sometimes. I am  a writer, trying to write some books, sometimes write for ad agencies, sometimes a songwriter and I have a blog,  but actually, I started my career as a software engineer‘-Varun                                                                                                                  

Wow, you do so many things, but why did you left as a software engineer and become something else, I think former job did pay you much more‘-Ronit

Yeah you are correct, when I was in college, I also thought the same way. I can make so much money becoming a software engineer. Then I joined a company, which make software mainly for banks. After one year I lose my enthusiasm and excitement in that job somehow. I don’t know why but I began to think, I can buy a Mercedes or a big house doing this job, but many people now do have Mercedez and big house, so do people respect and remember most of them. I started to think, where I want to see myself in the future. I looked at my boss and thought at best I can be in my boss’s place in the future, but that didn’t excite me. So I left that job and begun to look closely at my nature and started doing things close to my nature, that’s how today  whatever I am.‘-Varun

But, don’t you think you have missed an opportunity to live a life, having things that many people only dreamt of, what’s the guarantee that people would remember you for whatever you are doing now‘-Ronit

Yeah there is no guarantee and I should not expect that also. But somehow I feel my worth for whatever I am doing now. And more lavish things mean you are successful, you are living a life what other people dreamt of, true but externally, to at best some people’s eye but that does not guarantee you internal success, which to me is more important‘-Varun

So, you think I am not successful internally, I can’t have inner peace‘-Ronit       ‘No, I never said that. It’s in your hand, how you build your life, everyone is different, one way doesn’t work for other, one must know his/her true nature and do things according to that‘-Varun

I have never seen a guy like you, the way you talk sometimes difficult to digest but it feels true. I never express myself truly to others or even to myself. I never think that way, maybe I am afraid sometimes, what if I don’t earn enough money, how would then people look at me? I want to do many things, I want to have more adventures, I want to become a fit person, I want to travel more but somehow I always postpone these things just for working more and earn more‘-Ronit.

Hey, work is great if you like it, you can work more also but work without life has no meaning. Work is a part of your life, not your whole life. So start making time for those things which you really want to do, you will be amazed how small things can change  lifeVarun  

                                                                                                                                              ‘Thank you so much Varun, you are a very special person‘-Ronit                         ‘Hey, I am not any special, everyone is special in their own way. My favorite scientific hero Albert Einstien once said

“A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a constant persuit of success bound with constant unrest”    

It was already 11 P.M, Ronit and Varun said bye to each other and leave. That night on the way to home Ronit thought, a stranger, whom he never liked to talk earlier can make such an impact on his life.

He decided to talk with strangers next time he will meet. ‘I have really missed so many good friends by not talking to them, don’t want to miss any more‘- said Ronit.