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Wonders of a ‘free mind’ and an ‘open heart’.

Have you been in an unknown place where everyone is almost stranger to you. You met some wonderful people there who became your friends for lifetime. Isn’t it an amazing feeling how someone from complete stranger to you  become your friend. 

There must be some guys/girls in your school, college and even in your surroundings who are just excellent with people. No one seems stranger to them, they can easily talk with people and make them friends with ease. What makes them so special that people trust them.

Being a introvert and very shy guy in my childhood  I had heard lot of time from people that communication is the key. I had no idea that time about what they are talking. I mean how you talk is a natural process and not something you can change at your will was my belief. Wait, was I right?

After living 23 years of my life and with the experiences I have till now today I can certainly say I was very wrong. Thank god I changed my belief otherwise I would not have so many wonderful friends from different places, different countries all over the world. Then I would not get the chance to know about those wonderful people and their lives, most importantly I would not be able to learn from them which has helped me to become a better person.

But why did they used to tell me ‘communication is the key’?

Imagine a world where you have everything you wish but you cannot talk with anyone. How would be that, too boring right. your world would be too small, no new friends, no new knowledge. I believe that the significance of communication is like the importance of breathing.

In the last few years I have encountered with lot of people who were stranger to me. I found problem is twofold, it’s not only problem with them who are not very good speakers or shy to talk (like me in my childhood) but more for them who don’t listen but just speak irrespective of other peoples interests.                                                                            Dalai Lama beautifully said-

“When you talk, you are just repeating what you already know.                                                   But if you listen, you may learn something new.” 

Therefor an effective communication is not only about speaking good but also about listening with attention. For me the most important thing a good communicator (remember those guys who are just so good with people) posses is an open heart and a free mind. After all who would not like that person who don’t judge you everytime and listens to your views also, who don’t throw his/her opinions to you irrespective of your interest, who respect you and believe ‘we are one’ irrespective of wherever you live in the world. 

Many times lot of peole I met had a common question. Why should I meet or show interest in unknown people or strangers?

It’s just like that fish which lives in a pond and think why should I visit a river or ocean. Yeah it’s your choice you could live in that pond forever but then you are never going to know how many wonderful species are there in the ocean, meeting with them or talking with them might be the enriching experience of your life. Communicating with people is one of the fastest way to learn to grow. Of course not every new person or stranger is wonderful some may be creepy. You don’t have to talk with creepy one.  But unless you give yourself and other person a chance, how will you get to know who is what.

Communicating with strangers (at first) has given me lot of confidence and helped me to overcome my shyness. That’s Paul from U.K, I met him on a small cricket ground in mumbai. We became friends within one hour of our conversation. That was great, we talked really lot that one hour.

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Last week I went to kerala and I met lot of new people there. There was a lady from Canada, the way she was discussing about her life, her opinions was truly amazing. She is a yoga teacher now and a women who listens to her heart always. And of course how can I forget my dear friend Martin (in the left), he came to India 4 months back from Germany (as a exchange student) and I have so many memories with him (during 4 months) that I can write an entire post on him.

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So as you can see, all the differences, boundaries and insecurities are only in your mind. Open your heart and mind and you will realise that ‘We are really one’.                                  Don’t hold yourself back, you never know you may build a friendship to cherish lifetime.

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How Important are people around you ?

  Everyone in their childhood must have heard this lines from their parents      
‘Don’t get too close to him/ her, he will ruin you’ and most of the time we did not paid attention to this.

Well, their words might irriatate us then but they are not completely wrong. This I can say now with confidence because it is now a proven fact in  Science. Lot of studies has proved that our closest people do affect our personality. Link 1, Link 2

Have you ever think   ‘ why  do you think, the way you think?’. And If you think  it is because of your character,
then what shapes your character ?
Everyone  thinks that, if he/she were born in an  another country or other place he/she would have been different. Mindset would differ. So what determines our character, well lot of things but one of the major thing is the environment,where we live and grow up. And what makes the environment?. people with whom we are associated, with whom we are closest. So the key point is- the people with whom you are closely associated has a great effect on your character. Jim Rohn (an American Author,enterpreneaur) described it beautifully-

 YOU ARE AVERAGE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE, YOU MOST CLOSELY ASSCIATED WITH

You cannot choose where you born or in which family you born but you can certainly  choose your friends, who in turn shapes your personality. It is a common observation that succesful people don’t spend their time with negative people, who sucks a person’s willpower,hope,determination,patience  which are charactersticks of a succesful person.
In the other way a positive person can fill you with hope, you feel so good with that person and life seems beautiful.
So Everybody (with commonsense) want to spend more time with a positive person.

But how do you know wheather a person is positive or negative, observe the person, observe his/her speeches, thoughts, his actions and how realistic are they.
If you feel good and energetic after having conversation (or few conversations) with him/her and not only speeches but his/her actions itself show his positive personality   then most probably he/she is a optimistic person.
And a negative person just the opposite, they are like slow poison, you may not realise initially how they affects your life but they  prevent you from living a life ,you always wanted to live. 

So it is upto you, in which way you want to lead your life. sharpen your senses and observe people bit closely and choose the correct people in your life.
It may not seem a very important thing but in the long run it is very important because

LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY, SO IT IS UPTO YOU 

            WHEATHER YOU WANT MAKE YOUR JOURNEY EASY
            BY CHOOSING THE RIGHT PEOPLE OR YOU WANT TO
             MAKE YOUR JOURNEY DIFFICULT BY CHOOSING
                                     THE WRONG  ONE.’ 

 

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